One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.
Plot twist: ur bong hits u
"haven’t spoken since 2 years" I WONDER WHY KEVHIN, I FUCKING WONDER WHY
my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.
“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”
“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”
“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”
when i was 4 my dad asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up and i replied ‘daddy i want to be a cheesecake’ it’s been 12 fucking years and no one has let me forget it
my door this year. happy halloween muthafucka.
"Be yourself" they said. You’ll get laid they said.
ok but that takes dedication
I can’t even imagine what I would do.
Nobody tells me how to slice my pizza.